Grateful

I think one of the perks of having a blog is that it is an outlet.  It's a way to express your thoughts and feelings and get them out in one self-indulgent rant.  But to be fair, this isn't a rant.  More of a revelation really.  It comes on the heels of Mother's Day.

Last Thursday our freshman guidance counselor came to find me during 4th block and tell me that one of my students, Rebecca, had lost her mother in a car accident the night before.  Rebecca is a sweet, quiet, striking, unassuming little girl in a class of rambunctious, ridiculous freshmen. She is smart, funny, and likes to sit back and listen to her classmates be ridiculous rather than call attention to herself.  What has always fascinated me about her is her family history.  She told me her parents were from Germany and that every Christmas and summer they went back to visit with everyone.  (And if you know anything about me you know I love Europe.)  During a break in class last week, I asked her if her mother spoke English or German at home and she said, "Kinda both.  Mom speaks a lot of languages which is pretty cool."  I asked if her mom was a good cook and she said, "Oh yeah.  We eat a lot of meat and potatoes.  It's so good."  She emanated this pride when talking about her family.  Only natural.  I feel the same way when describing my mother's roast chicken :)

This afternoon I attended the visitation for Rebecca's mother.  I got to hug Rebecca and tell her if she needed anything all she needed to do was ask.  Shallow offerings I know when you consider the weight of what people really need when they lose a parent.  But since I am a girl and prone to fits of emotion, I cannot lie - this made me think.  And be eternally grateful.

I'm 32 and I still have my mom and dad.  I intend to have them until I turn 60..at least.  My heart breaks for Rebecca because all I can think of is the many amazing experiences she has to look forward to, and how each one of those she can't share with her mom.  I am so lucky.  My mom was at my graduation, my first job, she was there when I met the love of my life (I still remember calling her while taking Bean out to pee after a date with Andy and telling her I was falling for this guy), my parents were at my wedding, the birth of Jack, and so much more.  I am so grateful that Jack knows my parents and Andy's parents, that God has granted us the unprecedented gift of keeping our parents just a little while longer.  And it's really a gift.  I have several friends and colleagues that have lost family members at too young an age.  But each one of these people are amazing individuals with spirits that have simply grown stronger through this sadness.

I think what got me the most was walking into the funeral home and hearing the music Rebecca's father had chosen for his wife.  Cat Stevens was singing "Father and Son" over the speakers.  This song reminded me of my own mother.  She LOVES Cat Stevens.  Tea for the Tillerman has scratches in it at our house from the use my mother inflicted upon it :)  And I loved that in going to a memorial for someone's deeply loved mother, I was reminded of my own.

I am so unbelievably grateful for my mom and my dad.  And I'm grateful for a wonderful husband who cares for me deeply and hates when I dwell on the sadness in life (poor Andy).  I'm grateful for a beautiful little boy who makes each day worthwhile and special.  I'm grateful for amazing friends that enrich and support my life.  And I'm grateful that God takes such great care of my family.  He's pretty darn awesome.        

Rebecca and her family will make it through this because they are a strong unit.  You could see it as they walked into the funeral home with their arms around each other.  And in their memorial for their mother, they chose to focus on remembering the wonderful experiences and feelings she left behind, instead of the absence that everyone will feel in the years to come.  My heart goes out to their family and once again I am so so grateful for the wonderful love and care that my family gives to me.