It's actually been a year since we said goodbye to the Bean. And entire year of missing and mourning her. And still, to this day, our hearts ache a little each time we talk about her and we quickly dismiss the idea of ever being able to get another puppy. But reality tells me that one day in the near future (summer perhaps) we will be ready to get a puppy for the kids. And really that's who it will be for.
Because to Andy and me, there will never be
-another sweet furry face to snuggle
-another Fat, or Snuggles, or Fata Bean
-another great big puppy sigh that makes your heart melt
-another puppy whose best friend is the Frog
-another furry brown child who fits perfectly against my chest at night
-another person masquerading as a dog in our house
But all that being said, a year has given me a peace when it comes to the Fat. I know there will never be another Bean and frankly I hope there never is. I don't ever want her meaning or her memory eclipsed by another dog. She is a "one and only" and I know she will always stay that way. over the past year, one of my favorite things has been tending to her garden. Now that it's dormant, I can now see how big the rose bushes have gotten and how much her little garden on earth has taken off. Just the other day, Jack and I were playing in the backyard and we went over to look at her garden. Out of nowhere he angrily stamped his foot on the ground and stormed off to another part of the yard. When I caught up with him and asked him what was wrong, he said, "I miss Bean. I wish she was still here." We all loved her and we all miss her. And we always will. But I hope this year brings us a new family member for Jack and Lucy to love - they need a puppy and I know Bean would agree. Out of all of us, Bean knew how much a loving family benefits a little pound puppy. Adopting her at 19 years old was one of the best decisions I could have made and as much as we miss her I wouldn't change a thing about our last 14 years with her. We love you Bean :)
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