This is hard...

I really hate negativity.  I do.  (Wait, does saying I "hate negativity" come off as an oxymoron?  Anyway..)  It's contagious, infectious, and can really suck the life out of you.  So I've really been trying so hard to be positive about everything the last few months.  Going back to work, juggling two kids, keeping my patience in check...but after the last 7 days, I think I have to admit defeat.  This is really, really, really, really hard.  Becoming a mom with Jack was a HUGE adjustment.  But throwing one more child into the mix, even when that child is my perfect, good eater, good sleeper little Lucy Goose is seriously testing my sanity at times.  How have women been doing this for millennia?  How has the human race made it this far without a mega-societal breakdown among women?  I think I have finally come to the realization of why God designed our brains so that we don't process long term memory until AFTER the age of 3.  Because if we remembered all the frustrated sighs, muttered swear words, and mini-tantrums our parents issued when we were little, we might all be scarred as children and then civilization would break down and cease to exist.
Don't get me wrong - I LOVE being a mom.  It was what I was meant to do with my life.  Seriously.  I look at Jack and Lucy and feel an actual purpose.  But that doesn't mean that at 4:30 in the afternoon, when I'm lugging in 5 different bags from the garage, loading bottles in the dishwasher, warming another, taking Jack to the potty before he pees his pants for the 3rd time that day, letting Bean out, getting Jack a snack, changing Lucy, taking the dirty clothes from daycare upstairs to the washing machine, changing out of my work clothes, actually getting to pee myself, and getting dinner going, all within 10 minutes of each other, that I don't want to run screaming from the house.  This is really hard.
And it got even harder this past week with three variables thrown in - the school year gradually coming to a close with all its hecticness, Andy going out of town or working late for 75% of the week, and last but not least - Lucy and Jack got sick - AT THE SAME TIME!

Wednesday night Lucy reverted to newborn status by waking and crying inconsolably every 2-3 hours.  She was mega snotty and I was worried she might be getting sick.  (Please note we are no longer doing the full swaddle.  Struggling against the thing was making the eczema on her arms worse and sucking her thumb actually calmed her down better than anything else.  Sadly, she does wake up more now that we changed over to this but her arms are looking better.  It's a trade off.)

 That same night Jack did what he always does when sick - acts completely unfazed.  He was snotty, coughing, and goopy eyed.  This is where I want to point out that being a freaking worry-wort like myself pays off.  I kept telling Andy that he was sick and I wanted to take him to the doctor. Andy pointed out that he felt fine - see?  he's playing Anger Birds.  i was not convinced.

So on Thursday afternoon (with Andy already gone to Memphis for the next three days) I took the two of them to the doctor and they worked us in with Dr. Yen.  Not a fan of her.  She was great with Lucy and I think she's partial to little girls b/c she had very little patience with Jack.  She snapped at him when he touched her laptop and then he started to get upset.  It was awkward to say the least. However, we came out of it with two antibiotics - one for Lucy's ear infection and one for Jack's sinus infection.  I was kind of hoping for a little 2 for 1 deal but sadly I had to pay for 2 office visits.  Lame.  I love how they have his name as John J Brimer.  The nurses didn't understand that Jack is a nickname so in their records his name reads "John Jack Andrew Brimer."  Whatever.  I realize we did this to him by giving him a nickname that is not his legal name but if civilization has understood this concept since Germanic tribes wandered Europe, I think the nurses at KPA can get with the program.

 I can't be too sad that she's sick b/c she made it almost 5 weeks in daycare before getting sick.  Score!  And I also found out that she is 14 lbs 4 oz.  Woohoo!  Plus she is taking after her brother and being a super trooper with illness.  Look how sweet she is :)

And this boy is being the best behaved sick boy.  I think he knows his mother is on the edge with two kids, both sick, no dad, and Bean threatening to plummet down the stairs again at any moment (she fell Sunday morning - it was pretty awful but she seems to be ok).  He also clocked in a 36 lbs on the scale - yay!

 This is life now.  I need reminders for when everyone takes their medicine.  This is so crazy to me.  It's like looking in the rearview mirror again and seeing both kids.  Holy cow - we have two of them!

So yes, this part is hard.  Really hard.  Two kids is an unbelievable adjustment.  But the best part is that it doesn't take much to make it 100% easier.  Tonight as I walked out of Jack's room he whispered, "Sweet dreams Mommy.  I wuv you." And so far Lucy has been asleep for the past 3 hours.  We may have caught this thing in time before it got really awful for her.  I don't relish the days when I'm going this alone, or when work is hectic and miserable, or when both kids are sick, or when the laundry is piling up and the kitchen floor is so gross it's two dropped plates of food away from becoming a petri dish.  but I do relish the little in-between moments, like Jack picking me a flower outside, that makes all of this a little less hard :)